Surrounds Landscape Architects needed follow up messaging after a professional event attended by their sales people. Sales specifically wanted to gauge interest in their offer in the hope of generating leads. The client wrote their own copy then sent it to me for review. Before re-writing it, I asked two questions: Who is this for? What do you want them to do?

Client’s original piece (136 words):

SUBJECT: Design DC Architects—Let’s Help Each Other
When You Have a Difficult Site, What Do You Do?

As an Architect, we know you have the creativity to envision beautiful homes for your clients. Do you ever face topography challenges, or landscape and hardscape design decisions, where you would benefit from the assistance of a Registered Landscape Architect?

Our award winning RLAs routinely design for discerning clients. It would even be fair to say that they thrive on creating extraordinary environments from difficult terrains.

During the design phase, we often learn that our client’s “wish list” also includes an elaborate pool house and extensive home renovations. This is where we could use your expertise as part of the overall plan in order to best serve our customers.

Can we meet to learn about your firm, your design style, and discuss how we can collaborate?

SightLine’s revised piece (181 words):

SUBJECT: Design DC Architects—Better Process Means Better Design
Towards A Perfect Site Plan
Do clients ever ask what’s going to happen outside the house as a project nears completion? Landscape design sometimes pops up as an after thought, doesn’t it? It would be good to have a partner to call on in that case.

It’s the same for us. A client calls us to design a landscape, but what they really have in mind is far more ambitious. It may include a room addition or an elaborate pool house. We wish we had a partner to call—the sooner the better.

We Speak the Same Language
You create one-of-kind homes for your clients. Our registered landscape architects create one-of-a-kind outdoor environments that complement such homes.

Our areas of expertise perfectly complement each other. What a benefit to the project and the client when a site plan conceives of the house and its surrounds organically.

No More An “After Thought”
We both speak design. So let’s design together—from day one. No more after thoughts. Let’s get together and talk about how we can make better work by working together.

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